▲

2012-02-12T18:38:00.001+08:00

Nobody can ever totally understand another. You'd never understand how hard this is for me.

2012-02-12T13:13:00.001+08:00

I know how much pain I'm inflicting on you. Ruthless, i may seem. But I guess this is that one last thing I ought to do for us. No, I mean, for you and me.

2012-02-11T17:00:00.001+08:00

Pls understand. I don't want us to be this way either.

Hi

2012-02-06T20:59:00.005+08:00

05/02 Malaysia

Paid a visit to my grandpa in Malaysia on Sunday. Had to rush in and out on the same day cos bro and i have school the next day. Glad to see grandpa looking better than our visit last year. Wai gong, continue to stay strong and healthy!

I've been pretty busy with involving in the Chingay parade that ended last Saturday. That explains the short hiatus, but hi, i'm back!!

Am so glad that this entire thing is finally over, but then again i kinda miss the times we had - Playing with water oogling at hot guys stinking badly splashing water behaving like monkeys etc etc.. Now that i'm free from this, i'd better make full use of the time i have to amend for the time lost. Gotta pull up these socks and buck buck buck up studies-wise.

On the other hand, i'm annoyed by certain issues, just yet to spill it out. I've always had this stubborn mentality that I'm able to handle all these shit life is throwing at me but i guess i just can't. Too used to having someone to rely on and rant to but now it seems like i'm the only one i can count on. Press on, Sharon. You've got to do this. 8 more months and you're out of this fucking place.

Everyone's just too pretentious. What's up with those walls what's up with those masks. I rather people show me their true colours rather than act all goody goody in front of me.

First love

2012-01-28T07:40:00.001+08:00

The one who taught me the ropes of loving someone. The one who showed me how it was like to be loved. so many memories I can't erase off my mind. It's just another similar case to dad's. On normal days, i don't feel much about not having you here. but at times like this I can totally feel a part of me lost. A huge part of me gone. We promised to stay as friends. You said you're going to wait for me regardless of whatever shit life's going to throw at us. I simply can't let you do that, I don't want you to waste your entire youth on me. Furthermore, I know we'd not end up together again. At least for now. Cos we'd forever be quarrelling. I'm tired of being someone that's never good enough for you. Or perhaps, never good enough for anyone. Thanks for being here, standing by me for the past few months. Going through those rocky roads, and leaving behind beautiful footprints for me to dig up and reminisce whenever I miss you. You should understand that I'm never going to forget this. What we had, what we went through. There won't be another relationship like ours. It's not the ending, it's the start and the process that mattered most to me. Every start - every firsts we've been through. They'd be carved deep down in my heart. Every process in the relationship - you taught me ways of loving someone. You taught me how to be a better person. To be street smart, to have a better fashion sense. To work hard towards my goals. To put myself in others' shoes before I say or act.

You're more than i can ever ask for. It's my lost for letting you go, for pushing you away. Yes a bitch, I may seem. But I have my reasons. Your happiness is one of them.

No one would be able to accept my flaws the way you do.

To all my future boyfriend(s): I'm not going to hide. You're going to be compared to this amazing guy.

Pictures

2012-01-25T20:47:00.004+08:00

2012-01-21 Dim sum dollies

Dim sum with these girls last Saturday. So long since i've last hanged out with them.

All the promises that we had made, all those words that we had said

2012-01-25T00:45:00.001+08:00

I always stone whenever I come to this space, regardless of whether I had had an idea of what to blog about in the first place.

First of all, happy lunar new year, everyone. May your year be smooth sailing. This cny is totally different for me. Without dad around, there seems to be a lack of... Something. Less jokes less laughter less smiles. Especially granny, you can see that she's struggling through everyday, answering to questions pertaining to how she's coping with her loss.

That aside.

So to make use of my time wisely and not waste them away munching goodies at home, I chose to report to work. Double pay + extra red packets. Sharon is a rich girl by now.

School tomorrow. Bum bum bummer

I miss you

2012-01-16T00:48:00.001+08:00

People often ask : 'Why do you seem so unaffected by your dad's passing?' Yeah I do get that alot. The thing is, I make an effort to push him to the back of my mind. Whenever I feel that he's surfacing again, i'd force myself to think of other things. This is my way of controlling my emotions too. I hate letting my feelings takeover me. I hate having to swallow down the tears and hiding them from staring strangers.

Whenever I work during wedding banquets, the brides and grooms would always prepare a speech for their parents, in appreciation of their loving care, etc etc. Some of which tugged my heart strings. And every single time, I think to myself, that my dad is never going to see me through my marriage. He'll not be the one walking down the aisle with me and hand me over to my husband. He'd not be able to hold my child in his arms. He'd be missing out in so many parts of my life that I want to share with him so badly.

How are you, dad? Are you watching over me?

Missing puzzle piece

2012-01-13T23:19:00.005+08:00

First of all, some over-dued pix.

8/1 Flea

Dropped by the flea at scape on the 8th with kt to show some support to xiaoying kaiwen hueimin.

big bruise on arm :(

More pix on fb.

So worn out after a long week of mugging for upcoming tests, struggling to keep balance between school and home. Not forgetting that i really need a break from all these madness. Only the start of the new year and life's already been so hectic. wuuuuuuuut? Called back to go for work this coming Sunday evening. Sigh, of all days.. Plus Chingay tomorrow afternoon. Where's my break, when can i finally get some rest?

Got a shock today when i bumped into you on the bus today. Why is it that when i always wish i would see you on the streets in the past, i don't. And now when i don't, i do? Don't get me wrong, i just don't want to end up in tears when we say our good-byes again. This wrenching feeling, it suffocates me.

p/s Changed some settings. Readers without formspring can now ask me questions in the ask box :)

2 is better than 1

2012-01-09T23:02:00.001+08:00

Let's all be honest. Who wouldn't want to have someone to be there for you? Be it rain or shine. Nothing beats having a shoulder to cry on, a ear to rant on. But it just is that hard to find someone who's willing to do all that. Admit it, we're all selfish.

I can't be there for people all the time. In fact, I'm never around when people need me (if ever). And that ropes in one fact about me: I'm never good at words nor any sort of consoling. The best I can do? Listen. Wise words, nah. I blabber nonsense, try to make a fool out of myself hoping the other party would laugh and perhaps cheer up a little.

I'm never there for people. So does that explain why I don't get to have people here for me too?

Yes there seems to be. But I'm referring to the people I wish were here for me too.

2012-01-04T21:40:00.001+08:00

Feel like doing a selling post or set up a selling blog since I'm really trying to raise more funds for my new camera and let go of my pre-loveds. But..... Would I get buyers? :(

2nd day of school and I'm sick. I thought the sore throat would heal pretty fast but it just had to prove me wrong by worsening straight after recess. Had to struggle through the next few periods and the CCA exhibition dry run.

I wished you were still here to send some home cooked porridge and stuff like that.

Day 1 boo yeah

2012-01-03T23:59:00.002+08:00

School wasn't as fun as i had expected it to be, but enough to keep me looking forward to more chances to bond with the class. With a better form-teacher, hopefully 4I would open up more. Been appointed vice-chair today. That's the only unlucky thing that happened to me today i guess. I really can't take up such roles since i really am an irresponsible person. Felt like a small load of burden fell onto my shoulders. Hopefully the load doesn't continue to increase as time goes by.

Day 2 tomorrow and i'd only get my books tomorrow. Hoping that no one would shout at me tomorrow. I promise i'd be good once i get everything settled. :(

3rd Jan 2012. Last kiss.

Cool SchooOoOoOooool

2012-01-03T00:28:00.001+08:00

Collected my last pair of shoes yesterday. (i hope) since I'm starting school and there should be lesser spending and more concentrating on school stuff. Have yet to get my books but I'll be fine, cos I know I'm not the only one. Anyway I shall crash now since I'm only left with 5 hours of sleep. So looking forward to school......... Just hope no one/ anything would spoil my mood on the first fucking day of school.

LOL JEN LAUGHING LIKE SHE'S OUTTA BREATH. HAHAHA.

2012-01-01T02:40:00.001+08:00

It was a bad year for me. Everything just came tumbling down and going downhill. Started off with an unexplainable friendship crisis. Followed by my dad's unexpected passing. Too many events that I want to erase. Terry once told me that I'm a very strong girl. Mom told me that I inherited her strong personality. But why do I feel otherwise? I want to be seen as a weakling too. I need someone to be here because I know I break down too much. Please don't leave me to fend for myself just cos I seem to be strong. I'm fucking not.

But this should be just how growing up is like. Learning to be independent. I'll get the hang of it.

2:39. A little past midnight but still, happy new year, everyone. Please have a good year ahead.

2012

2011-12-30T23:58:00.003+08:00

Came across the 100 facts survey on tumblr. Was gonna give it a shot since i'm so bored but i wouldn't want to waste my time answering their dumb questions hahaha so just leave anything in my formspring if you have things to ask me. I won't bite. But pls don't ask dumb questions lol i normally ignore those.

Btw i dropped by oakham this late afternoon and the queue just got me so impatient. Didn't get the main thing i wanted, but settled with 2 comfy pieces. I'm contented enough though.

It'd be 2012 in a day. How time flies, i'd be sec 4 next year. It scares me.

pix pix pix

2011-12-29T23:33:00.002+08:00

28/12

Met part of the clique + trena + henry + chia ee for dinz, shopping and waffles.

So longggg since i've met up with my friends...

Visited this lil girl at her workplace. So happy to see her again. :')

Waffles and ice cream @ scoopz! Thanks cheryl and daomin!! (:

29/12

How cute right! I want!!

om nomz yummy gong bao ji ding!!!!!!!

Reeeeeeally filling dinner, but look at how much it added up to! Cheap finger-lickin' goodness.

Gotta come back for more!! (:

"inside-joke-hence-the-beng-pose"

Was a gr8 but tiring day out with these 3 monkeys. Been so long since we've last had an outing together. Now that our sec 4 life is beginning, i figure our schedules would be even more hectic for such fun to come by again.

Work starts at 11am tomorrow. So drained i'm gonna crash now bye.

Visuals

2011-12-28T00:26:00.002+08:00

21/12

24/12 Christmas Eve

Tip-toeing all around...

Up to no good huh?

The "oops" look.

"Jiejie ahh"

Little Aegon is still learning how to smile.

Cheeky

Looking as shag as alwayz.

25/12 Christmas!

That roughly summed up my previous week.

My pillar of strength

2011-12-24T00:52:00.001+08:00

It is times like this when all I need is your words of encouragement and wise advices. Now that you're gone, I guess it's time I learn to fend for myself.

That guy

2011-12-22T23:54:00.001+08:00

He's all I could ever ask for. He's the reason behind all smiles and tears. The one who can make my day without much effort. The one and only person I could turn to during the worst period in my entire life. Yes, he may seem like my whole world. In fact yes he is worthy of that title. Because he's the only one whom I feel most comfortable with. When no one was approachable. Always saying things like "Aiya we won't last that long la..." "Gonna break soon gonna break soon." But deep down I still believe that we'd go far. Even til the day we walk down the aisle together. This may seem fucking childish to you, my readers. But love does this to you. I can't say I know a hell lot about love. But I experienced love. I was loved. More than I have ever received in my entire life.

They say you'd never forget your first love. I know. Because there would never be another person like you.

Bad, bad year

2011-12-22T00:39:00.001+08:00

I woke up to a huge "bang" sound this morning. Sat up almost immediately and took a glance at the living room. I wasn't wearing my specs and it was 5am-ish hence dark as well. I thought I saw granny still on her sofa bed, so I was relieved and was going back to sleep. But contemplated whether to check once more. I guess my eyes were more used to the darkness and I could see slightly clearer. Next glance: granny's home slippers and blanket in a mess. Jumped down my bed and rushed out, only to see granny on the floor pressing her hands onto her forehead. Panicked to hell I swear. Next thing I know, I saw blood.

Granny was sent to the hospital straight afterwards. Had (a few) stitches. I'm sure it must have been alot since the cut was so damn deep. My heart fucking sunk. The hell, we could've taken better care of her. How would she feel about herself with a scar on her face? And the pain she experienced... We rly won't know.

2011 is a really bad year for me. If only there was a time machine. I'd go all back to the very start to make things right.

You've been bad. Really bad.
Like are you fucking serious? My granny is such a kind hearted person and you fucking let this happen to her?

Zombiefied

2011-12-19T01:22:00.001+08:00

First of all, so sorry for the short hiatus. Was away in Malaysia for the weekends to help out with tending my Aunt's boutique and moving of house. Only one word can describe how I'm feeling now - lethargic. Totally worn out from sleepless nights cox lil' jocelyn wouldn't let me sleep in peace with her kicking and turning about. Plus motion sickness from car rides to and fro during the trip, and night shift at my workplace earlier on. I. Can. Just. Sleep. For. Years. If. Time. Allows. But no, I've got stuff to do. So pardon me if you get a shock when you bump into me on the streets. I apologise for looking like a zombie. O_O

Now that I'm back, I promise to work on a decent post to update on my life. Life hasn't been really kind to me nowadays, you see.. Really.

1:21am. Time to turn in, for I have morning shift later on. :(

Erupting volcano

2011-12-16T19:31:00.001+08:00

Currently on uncle's car on our way to JB. Just had an awful quarrel with my bro and indirectly roped in my entire family. In a fit of anger I pushed my granny's hands away while she was trying to get me to chill. Am feeling a strong sense of guilt right now. Why was I so rash, really? Thinking about how she might have felt, I feel so lousy. Wtf, Sharon. Really. You unfilial ungrateful bitch.

On another hand, I was holding in and keeping so much things inside me. I tried to control but they just had to spill. And I ended up in tears. Hurling at everyone. Am having a really bad headache right now. But I can't complain.

Mad dog. Mad bitch barking.

11th Dec Happy Birthday Daddy!

2011-12-11T23:45:00.003+08:00

Losing track of what day it is, what time it is. Everyday seems to be revolving around work work and more work. Nearly forgot that today was daddy's birthday.

So i had my last tuition session with Chiedza. Being a good tutor, (i've always been) I got her 2 boxes of Oreos. Golden and Stars. Hopefully that'll be able to last her a few weeks in Kenya. Bon Voyage, Cheid. You've been a reaaaaally good girl.

After that, i had to cab down to my workplace cos i was late. Bro came to fetch me and we went to shop for daddy's prez before we rushed off and trained down to CCK. Had an advanced Christmas gathering with his family (and his church mates - wtf he didn't mention that. I felt cheated again). But nevertheless we enjoyed the food and carols etc etc. Furthermore they didn't preach today so it was great. Exchanged gifts and headed home.

Daddy's cooking is really good. Like what he always says about his cooking, "World's best". Yes indeed, it is.

I'm working again tomorrow by the way... :( Why oh why wasn't I born in some rich family, why?

Just when I thought all the fun had just started....

2011-12-09T23:56:00.000+08:00

It struck me hard that the holidays are ending. Real soon. And I'm totally ashamed of myself, that I've pretty much did nothing to improve myself in terms of studies, except for a few outings and work. What have I been doing, really. I can't recall, though I'm trying so hard to. That shows how much insignificant work i've done. That don't leave a single trail behind for me to remember.

But one thing, I'm 1/3 done with the book I'm currently reading. I do enjoy just spending a day with a good book, and nothing else. This morning it was raining pretty heavily, and I was stuck at home. Got this idea to continue from where I've last stopped, so I grabbed my book and settled on the couch with a glass of milk. Granny snoozing off at a side, me on the other side.

I kinda like spending time with my granny at home. Though we're silent at times, I find it comfortable. And being able to make her smile or laugh... I don't know, I feel happy too.

Oh I was just complaining about my delayed collection of my specs, and the person called this morning! Finally got it, and am overjoyed. Like really, overjoyed. After so long, I finally got new specs, and to add on, with my own hard-earned money! A sense of achievement, that I earn to afford my own luxuries.

But how I hope I could do this a year ago. I mean, to pay for my own stuff. This way I could've lessen dad's burden.

2011-12-08T23:43:00.001+08:00

07/12 Astons with bf

The lady at the optical shop lied. She said that i'd be able to collect my specs on thurs, which is today. But no, when i called, she said i'll have to wait another 2 days. I feel cheated wtf so much for looking forward to collecting it today wtfffffffffff....

2011-12-06T23:56:00.000+08:00

Ugly duckling strikes again. I can't stand this, the sore eye went away but came back again right after. Oh-no, what's becoming of me....

Nevertheless, went ahead with the date with Huiyi. Had my pedicure for christmas. Let's just hope it'll stay as pretty as it is right now, til christmas. Hopefully.

Look at this, i look hideous with that right eye.

So here it is, my christmas nails. I really do hope it'll last that long.

Oh do pardon the oversized photos. Taken with my phone camera since i clumsily left my memory card in my laptop.

Aegon, again!

2011-12-06T20:21:00.004+08:00

Aegon and his ABCs.

A for Apple, B for Ball, C for Cat, D for Dog, E for Elephant, F for Flower, G for Goat, H for Horse, I for Iron, J for Jump, K for Kite, L for Ladder.

"H for?"

"Jump"

"H for....???"

"Jump Jump Jump"

"HAHAHAHAHAA"

Another one, quite a while ago. His laughter is soooooo contagious.

Cute lil boy, jie loves you!

Hair

2011-12-04T21:20:00.000+08:00

BOOMZ MY HAIR IS SHORRRRRRRRRT

LATE

2011-12-03T16:56:00.003+08:00

So here i am, supposed to be running for my dear life to reach my workplace on time but instead butt-glued to the chair. My laziness is boundless.

2/12

These are the pictures for the not so typical friday night, for i had a wedding to attend. Met bf for a really short while and we roamed about in town til the clock hit 6pm. Ate til my tummy stretched another 5cm. No kid, i ate too much. But poor bro went drunk and i suppose he had a hangover til this morning.

Huge zit. Pimple attack.

dashing bro

Oh and i finally got my specs! Will be collecting it on the coming thurs. Can't wait!! Have been wanting a new one for waaaay to long. Laziness is really getting me no where..

K GOTTA RUN.

A day out with Yap Hui Yi

2011-12-02T00:34:00.004+08:00

30/11

It's been long since i had a friend that tagged along with my family outing, ever since Li Hung went back to hk. It was a good day out with Huiyi. We bumped into Tianlong while roaming around with my family in the dfs building. She would have made me seem like an awkward ostrich not knowing what to do while she chatted with Tianlong, luckily bro was there.

Pardon how shag i've become nowadays. This face of mine... In desperation for some good night's sleep. The pimps, zits all popping up, all at once. How nice of them.

This girl over here had a perm a few days ago. Look at her cute curls (:

My right eye. Supposedly sore a few days back but it's healing pretty fast now.

Daddy!

And..... my witty bro

Supper on daddy!

So that pretty much rounded up my wednesday. Am still down with a small flu and slight sore throat. Many people are falling sick nowadays. Do drink more water! I'm guilty for saying that cos i barely sip enough water to keep myself hydrated. That might be a possible explanation for my poor complexion :(

I really need more of such dates to keep me alive.

P/S For those who are still confused and freaking out about my "daddy", he's my god-father, not my dad (:

December

2011-12-01T01:06:00.001+08:00

All that's on my mind for December is Christmas Christmas and still, Christmas. I've already got my Christmas 2011 all planned out. But what about before Christmas? There's really nothing else to anticipate about, or is there? Why is my life so mundane, why?

1:08am. A long day just went by like that. Spent the last of nov 2011 with Huiyi. So glad that people still bother to date me, else I'd decay alone. Two is better than one, isn't it.

Bushy ponytail

2011-11-29T22:55:00.004+08:00

Got a haircut (again) and this time i think the hairstylist snipped off around 2 inches. They blew dry my hair for me so it's all flat and straight now. Can't wait for tomorrow when they all go nuts and twirl about again. Just love my wavy locks.

OM upsize

2011-11-27T22:52:00.005+08:00

26/11 OM upsize with Jen, Sitex with Jinli

Hi all this is Jelancia. The girl cussie i'm always talking about.

Got the boys some donuts to snack on.

This was yesterday when Jen and i made a trip down to OM for their upsize. I went there eyeing for my skater skirt. And yep, of course i got it (: Little happy girl over here, hi. Helped yunjie get her mustard one and left the crowded place. Stopped by raffles city to get some donuts for the boys working at Sitex, and headed to Expo straight after with Jinli. I must say it was a really tiring day for me.

So anywayz i just came back from town with aven and wilson. So proud of myself for not spending a single cent. Keep it up girl, all the way!

Things have been rather peaceful for me nowadays. Living in my own world, getting myself busy with things i like to do (except for work, but since working = $ so i might as well say i love it too) and getting enough sleep. I've lost touch with many of my friends ever since the holiday had started. I'm not a really sociable person when it comes to coming in contact with strangers i meet for the first time. So i guess that must be the reason why my social network has never been really wide. But nevertheless, I'm fine with being alone, really. Since primary school, to be exact. I'm always seen with the same bunch of girls. The 3 of us, in fact. Cinthya Clarie and Sharon. They have other friends they mingle with too. But i only had them.

Being alone... is not exactly a bad thing. To be honest, i kinda like it someway or rather, i'm used to it. So pardon me if i'm MIA. Well that's only if you even realise my absence.

Curiosity

2011-11-26T23:17:00.005+08:00

Some things that's been going on in my head recently.

Why is sooo many people trying so hard to get into some limelight?

And also, just why, why why why do people have to change?

Oh, and I really do wonder,

Is there really a possibility of having another planet like Earth in the galaxy?

If so, how many light years is it away from us?

Someone, enlighten me please.

Picture perfect

2011-11-26T21:45:00.006+08:00

25/11 Chinatown

Met my boy after work for some retail therapy at Ann Siang, and went 1 round about Chinatown like some tourists. Head back to his crib to tapao some of his maid's finger likin' goodie fried rice and had our dinner at Deck 5, just a street across his block. Damn, if only I could cook like her!!!

Oh and I finally got to know what 'bozo' meant. It.... has no meaning. Just something bf's dad always says out of the blue when something unlucky happens to him.

Have been using pictures to update on my life pretty often recently. My G11 pal has been following me around almost everyday for the past few weeks. Most prolly adapted this habit cos there was a period of time when i totally neglected it. Although it adds a little more load to my tote, but I guess that's just as fine. I love taking photos as a hobby anyway. Whats more, pictures never change, even if the people in it do.

Ah crappppppppppppp, working tomorrow.. Bummer......

One of the best nights i had.

2011-11-26T00:05:00.005+08:00

22-23/11 CO camp 2011

Epic night with seniors with...... a bottle of Bacardi at the balcony on level 4. Uh, plus 7-up. The 7-up ran out soon after and we kinda drank pure instead. That meant K-O for some of the guys. A great night. Great great night. Esp h2h talk with Jinli in the girls' restroom.

Caught Apple with Jinli Kaihin and Terry the next morning. Awesome show, you have to catch it.

20th 22nd

2011-11-24T19:24:00.002+08:00

22/11 20th monthsary with b.

Soul mate?

2011-11-23T21:53:00.005+08:00

21/11 Chalet @ Aloha Changi

A few of us whipped up some dishes for dinner. Afterwards, headed out for some fresh air at the seaside.

I thought that it'd be fine if i just keep my thoughts to myself, since i managed to persuade myself that these won't affect me much. It's only after i've poured out everything to Jinli last night, that's when i finally heave a sigh of relief. There's just so much stuff i can pour on someone, but there's just so little people around who has the listening ears that i need. Well Jinli.... She's a really special person. A friend that is always approachable when i'm in need. We seldom meet up, but when we do, there's no awkwardness involved. And this, is a little something i really like about us. So i practically spent the entire night with the seniors on 22nd at 4th floor balcony. And while the guys got knocked out, the both of us went into the girls' toilet for some h2h talk. Sensed guilt for not helping wenqi and wenjie with making weihan better, but even if i were there, i figure i wouldn't be able to help much either. But nevertheless i really hope he'll get well soon :(

Like what i've told Jinli, i feel that i no longer belong to any group in the school. Things just changed and i don't like how things have become right now. Tbh, i rather to go solo. Bcos from past experiences, i've learnt that i'd feel happier if i didn't have to face these problems.

Alright ending here. Will post the pix up for 22nd and 23rd when i feel like it. Am deprived of sleep since we stayed up all night yesterday. A night to remember cox it was too epic. Yup sitting on this chair for over 3 hrs. Shall shift myself to the bed already. These eyes of mine would melt any minute.

Tution with Chiedza tomorrow. I hope i won't pass the flu bug to her. x

6G

2011-11-18T22:35:00.005+08:00

Right. So basically today's p6 class outing was a failure cos it was too last minute and many people couldn't make it. I guess no one really bothers too plan it properly. Nevertheless the few of us had fun. 2359 was slightly better than i thought, scaring me in quite a number of scenes. Kept shouting at the wrong times and the whole cinema turned to look at our direction. We kept going "ha ha ha" in the middle of the show too. Why? Hehe inside joke. :P Went forth with the kbox idea with Cinthya right afterwards. Couldn't believe that it's the first time we sang k together though this girl has been with me since the first day of primary school. 9 years of friendship. Wow, BFF we've came so far. Beat that, babe. Better not lose contact with me! <3

Am having another tuition with Chiedza tomorrow morning. Ah, morning blues.........

p/s Fuck yeah i caught the beetle. Damn it i was screaming and hopping around while trying to trap it in a plastic bag. HELL YEAH DO I FEEL ACCOMPLISHED. But still, screw you, beetle. Yuck!

Life is..... well, fine

2011-11-17T22:33:00.003+08:00

16/11
Met jimmy neutron after i knocked off from work yesterday.

hahaha can't stop laughing at this every single time man how cute can he get!?!?!?!? lil jimmy neutron!

17/11

Chiedza was a great tution kid, haha cute lil girl with tons of braids on her head. I'm so glad the tutoring process went rather smooth. There wasn't much homework so we finished them off in a jiffy. Had dinner with b at Prata house & dropped by scoopz for dessert to show some support for cheryl and dao min. (:

Privacy invaded by a fucking huge beetle during my bath a while ago. The fuck it not only invaded my privacy and caught me naked top to toe but also tried to attack me. To hell, insects with wings. Hate these flying little monsters ew pui gross.

Catching up with primary school mates tomorrow. Already starting to feel weird cos it's been quite a long time since i've met up with any of them except for cinthya. Furthermore i've never really been close enough with them so i figured that i'd just end up going solo. 2359 in the afternoon, and maybe followed by kbox afterwards. One helluva list of things going on tomorrow, guess i should get some sleep.

I may not seem to give a fuck about how my friends are doing right now during this long break from school. But i do. Every single one of those important babies mean a hell lot to me. And i wonder, all day long, what they've been up to, whether life has been hard on them and the list can go on and on. It's been long since i've kicked the habit of childish sms-ing my friends with nothing but nonsense like "what you doing?" "hahaha" all day long (i don't even know what's there to talk about, and i still don't quite understand why and how the hell some people can text for so long w/o running out of topics to talk about). So i guess that's the reason why i seldom update people on my daily routine except on this lil' space. And hence not being able to be the one that's there for anyone when they are down. I guess i'm always the last to know about major happenings in the social network of mine. But somehow deep down, i wished that i was the somebody that someone would turn to whenever they face certain troubles. And not forgetting that i, too, need someone to be there for me. I guess that's just how things are right now. Nobody fucking cares anymore. What happened to all the caring souls out there? Perhaps we've all grew tired of showing care? Or that no one cares to show some love anymore.

Sunshine after rain

2011-11-17T01:38:00.006+08:00

15/11

Took a break off work for a day to spend some quality time with b since we've not been meeting for years. Enjoyed a decent meal at NYNY, followed by a good movie, Tower Heist. Decided to go for it as the next showtime for Apple was a little too late for me. However Tower Heist sounded appealing cox it was starring Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy. I had a great laugh! Took a long walk home after the movie. Just love such nights when we pour out everything to each other. <3

So today was another tiring day at work. Hands all tired from serving dishes and pouring tea etc. Being a waitress ain't no easy task. BUT. I need to endure..........

Met b after work today. Ah, this boy never fails to make my day better. :)

BAM! CUTENESS OVERLOAD.

Admire the cute little thing above while i turn to my crib. This ugly monster here need some sleep. Those dark circles need to leave man. They need to leave.

p/s I have a tuition kid now! The class starts tomorrow. Shall be a good teacher and buy sweets for first lesson. :)

Til then! x

Weakling

2011-11-15T15:12:00.003+08:00

Woke up to a heavy head + sore left eye + twitching right eye + sprained neck. What's wrong with me nowadays?

Spent my entire morning tumblr-ing away with a cup of.... Gran's home-brewed tonic. I have to call tumblr another fashion blogosphere. Where all fashionistas come together.

Heading out in an hour's time. I hope things would turn out fine. x

2011-11-13T22:56:00.003+08:00

Putting our best face on.

Been a few days since i've last came up to this lil' space and my laptop decides to flare up and give out all sorts of weird noises.

Nothing much to report on. I'm in an endless loop of work work work rush rush work work. That's pretty much all i've been doing. Meanwhile I should try and figure out how to stop the laptop from giving out so much noise.

Just swallow it

2011-11-09T23:42:00.001+08:00

The bad things stay with you. You can't escape them, even if you want to.

2011-11-09T23:00:00.005+08:00

Just realised that i'm not done with the tagging of pictures taken in india. Fb kept failing me and i just couldn't drag myself to continue with that tiring task . Shall do it some other day when the orange cow jumps over the purple moon.

It was, supposedly another peaceful day for me. Until i realised that Chinese O's are tomorrow. I've never really gave a hoot about my language papers cos it seems to me that there's actually really nothing to study for it. Except for maybe memorising of letter formats. However this time round i had to worry about what to study for it. It's just another last minute thing for me. Chinese has never been my thing. It still isn't and perhaps never will. Nothing to be proud of, something to be ashamed of. But i guess i should really start putting some effort into this subject if i were to get an A for it. Or else, i'd just have to drop my HCL and start all over again for normal chinese.

Nov has been a great kick start for me. Everything is turning out better. Except for becoming poorer and poorer. I should stop munching on my dollar notes. hehe kid kid don't take it seriously.

Oh one more thing...... i'm back on tumblr! Been long since i've went up there. So relieved to know that the cool kids are still alive. Tumblr have always been another hideout for me whenever my spirits are low. All those snips and snaps just lifts my spirits up.

Have a good night

2011-11-09T01:19:00.001+08:00

1:22am right now. Sudden rain pour. Soooooooooooo gonna sleep well tonight. x

Thats just how friendships should be like.

2011-11-08T22:40:00.001+08:00

I love those type of friendships that don’t require a lot of effort. We may not see each other as much as we want to or talk as much as we used to, but it doesn’t change the fact that we’re friends no matter what. They can do their own thing and I can do my own thing. What’s important is that whenever we do see each other again, we can pick up right from where we left off without making it awkward. Any friendship that works out like that is a friendship worth having.

- tumblr

Off work

2011-11-06T23:30:00.004+08:00

Its 7/11/11, so.... Happy 22nd birthday, Jie! Enjoy your day and have a blaaaaaast. Love you!

Its me again its me its me. Its been 3 hours + since i got off from work and here i am finally getting the chance to caress my laptop. So today(or should i say yesterday?) went past really quickly. I kinda hoped silently that my in-charge would put me back to this outlet but i already pushed down the offer... H8 it when i change my mind so easily just when i started bonding with my colleagues. However I found a better lobang to keep my pockets full for the holidays so i guess i should just chuck this opportunity away for the time being. What's there to lose anyway?

BUT THEN AGAIN BEARING IN MIND THAT I CAME HOME ADDING 2 MORE ITEMS INTO MY SHOPPING CART................... sigh i need $$$$$$$$

Oh and i went to work today with............. this:

I have no idea why it was like this in the morning. Furthermore it stuck to me even til now. It's not fucking going away.

No worries, its a stay home tomorrow.

Reminder

2011-11-04T23:25:00.001+08:00

I need to constantly constantly constantly remind myself, that I'm not in any stand to feel hurt. I'm not in any stand to ask for anything. I'm the culprit not the victim.

I'm curious. How would you feel if I left you some day? Perhaps not even a pinch.

Working this weekend at Harvey Norman at north point. Do come down to show some love and support. And maybe buy a camera from me? x

The silence scares me.

2011-11-04T01:09:00.001+08:00

0:47. Lying down thinking about everything. Was still having the whale of a time several hours ago since the girls came over for a visit, concerned about how I was. They rampaged my house for food and turned my room upside down, welcoming ants with Oreo crumbles all scattered on the floor. Being bad mood Sharon, I was surprised that I didn't flare up, however glad and contented that these babies took time to travel down to my little crib. After which they accompanied me for my job training while they had their interview. Had home-cooked bolognese spaghetti and zapalang congee for dinner at Huiyi's. Made a big mess in the kitchen, and we spotted jiayan's only talent - dicing luncheon meat. Ended the day watching rainie's concert while munching away.

It was, indeed a surprise when the girls came knocking on my door. Just when I had stopped the wild thoughts from running non stop in my mind. Perhaps it was a great idea to give school a miss. Indulging myself in SHINee's latest videos and updates. Many of you must be thinking that I'm so lame to go after a k-pop band. But I'm sure I've said this to many people before. SHINee is the only Korean band I've fallen in love with. Jonghyun's voice can totally lift my spirits up instantly. This morning kt posted several pictures of jjong on my fb wall. An instant smile shot on my face. Thanks so much, girl.

But of course, I know this happiness won't stay for long, cos I'll still have to leave these great people at the end of the day and face the troubles all again. Am always hiding from it all by getting myself busy with other stuffs. But once everything is over and I find myself too free. That you'd automatically surface in my mind again.

What am I supposed to do, someone please save me.

Wake up

2011-11-02T11:52:00.004+08:00

27/10

Mom's advanced bday celebration

Got a small cake for mom since there's only the 4 of us and of which 2 are on diet. Though it's just a simple celebration, i can see she really appreciates it, since it's our first time giving her a surprise. Love you, mom.

Sitting right next to the window and listening to the sky cry. I figure it'll start pouring in about... 15 mins? Great timing to snuggle in my bed. Being alone at home can be a good and bad thing. But then again reminding me that this house used to be so much cozier than it is now. So is it still a place to call home or just a place to rest and charge my batteries?

Gonna spend another 2 more hours staring at this space til bro comes back knocking on the door. Had a last minute decision to hit town with him, to get my hair fixed, since they are screaming for mercy from being tied up all day. And, maybe do some shopping with him. Need to let loose a little to avoid unnecessary bad thoughts.

And.. boy, we're getting no where like this. Things between us are getting worse by each passing day. My heart aches every now and then when i receive your msgs. But i know i'm in no stand to feel hurt, as I know i'm never improving. Every single time, I feel like giving up. But thinking about how long we've come to and how much more i want to spend with you, i have to hang on. And perhaps slap some sense into me and stop behaving like a useless bitch.

Boo

2011-11-01T22:12:00.001+08:00

Caught paranormal activity 3 with the girls and yong jun after physics lesson today. Not as scary as I had expected, it's just the sudden effects that jumps up that surprises me. Paid 6 freaking bucks to waste 2 hours away. Let's just treat it as a belated celebration for Halloween then..

Had several good laughs during cca as zls was in a good mood. Minus my crazy seniors around me, I suppose this was the best combined session ever since the jokers had left. I kinda miss them. Had dinner at jiayan's and went home afterwards.

Seems like i've been updating alot with words nowadays. The lack of visuals... Well uh, bear with it tq.

I don't know, but i mean it when I said that you have all changed. Everyone of you. I know, so do I. But.... Ah fuck nvm.

Your smile can turn a storm into a sunny day

2011-10-30T08:56:00.001+08:00

I can't let my emotions take over me. No, not when I'm working. Sharon slap yourself awake, slap slap slap.

Second and last day of work. I can pull through this. And hopefully finally get some rest in preparation of the bridging lessons this upcoming week. I have no time to lose.

Shall cultivate some peace in me right now just before the event starts.

Cold nostalgia

2011-10-29T20:25:00.001+08:00

Hate hate hate such times when I can't stop my mind from wandering off, to think about what a failure I am, how insensitive I have become. And it hits me real hard like a bullet when I realise that perhaps I no longer stand a place in your heart, that maybe, just maybe, you no longer think of me anymore. I can't stand the feeling of being ignored. It scares me. I feel like I'm at the risk of being forgotten, being placed at the back of your mind, and nothing, in your day reminds you of me.

It all appears on the surface where we're both busy with our own stuff and don't give a heck about what's going on. But just to let you know, I think about you all the time, all day long. About what's become of us, about what I should do. I ponder hard about whether to ring you up but at the same time knowing you'll never pick it up. I keep myself busy with work, but once every while can't help but to send a text hoping for a reply.

Feeling disappointed at the end of the day, but I know I can't give us up. At least for now I know I can't.

Tears keep rolling down. These stupid fat tears goes tumptumptump on my already wet pillow. 8:24pm. A little early, but am turning in cos of work tomorrow. Goodnight, and I miss you.

p/s Can I still call you mine?

Halloween

2011-10-29T15:56:00.001+08:00

Finally got rid of the auntie crowd. Omfg you can't believe how kiasu they are. Pushing and shouting and snatching the free gifts off my colleague and my hands. And many of them play dirty to get more. I can't stand it man.

So is this how my Halloween is going to be like this year? Wow ok can.

Eh but really, why people celebrate Halloween but not 7th lunar ah, hahaha.

Disappointment

2011-10-28T18:55:00.004+08:00

It seems like making myself busy is the only way to keep negative thoughts away from my mind. Had a dry run for the variety show this morning, and spent quality time with Jiahui at her crib watching videos and such. Left at 4-ish for a briefing for the job this weekend, and I met my new colleague, Xiao Han. Don't be mistaken by the name, it's actually a guy.

Got back the disappointing results today. Didn't improve at all, and neither did I maintain. Flunked my sciences terribly. I know i know many people kept telling me i did so much better than them and have no rights to whine about my results. But please know that i have my own targets and expectations. I aimed to do so much better. But of course, I didn't put in much effort this time round. Totally slacked through the entire examination period.

Heading out for a jog with bro right now.

Oh anyway i've started on my journey of dieting hahaha i know i've said this a thousand times but trust me, this time for real.

School is hell

2011-10-26T23:25:00.005+08:00

Hey there it's Kumari

Just 30 mins before midnight. It's a school day tomorrow and i bet it's going to be a long day. Being dragged to go back to studying right after exams is not enjoyable at all. I guess this is how it's going to be like for a sec3 going to sec4. Life hasn't been good to me ever since the month of october came by. Or should i say that i brought all these happenings upon myself?

All those lightning from outside the windows is scaring me. I... should turn in soon. Lets just hope that school won't be mean to me.

Love, sharon

A day to rot

2011-10-25T21:48:00.005+08:00

Gave school a miss today because it's becoming more of a place i detest. Thought of soloing town but was too lazy to hit the outdoors. Therefore becoming a couch potato today, sitting infront of my lappy and watching City Hunter. I actually felt that the thought of abandoning the shopping trip was a good idea, until i realised myself abusing the 'add-to-cart' button too often. That cuts down more than 1/2 of the amount i had just deposited into my bank account. But now on a second thought, that might pay off roughly about more than a month of not shopping. Such online retailing therapy just lifts my spirits up. Let's not worry about the hole in my pocket. I'll just have to be extra hardworking to look for part time jobs to keep money flowing in during this coming holidays.

I'm not sure if i can still say this. But I miss you, so so so much.

Wake up call?

2011-10-24T22:21:00.001+08:00

Another one of those days where i have my hair all wrapped up into a turban. This 'hairstyle' of mine is what Aegon recognises as 'babooseng'.

School was all about open house. The Kpop medley totally stuck in my head and refusing to go off. Repeating the song for more than 5 times in less than 6 hours. A complete waste of time for a completely useless event. Though I know this would definitely benefit the CO in the future, but no I'd rather spend the time studying. This eoys crushed all my hopes for better results. Is it that I've got dumber? Probably. Or should I say that I didn't work hard enough? More likely. Always procrastinating and hoping for something when no effort was put in. This is Sharon. But she can't stay the same can she? She can't.

Went for a jog around the neighbourhood blocks with bro after I got home earlier. It seems to me that perhaps a jog a day can help me to slim down and tone me a little. Been long since I had visited the gym with bro and Jen. Holidays are nearing. Shall use the time wisely.

wow

2011-10-22T23:15:00.003+08:00

Hey bodohs i'm back i'm back i'm finally back. From amazing india incredible india. Well more specifically, Chennai. To sum it up, the trip was a really unforgettable experience for me. Being someone who detests dirty places and such, the trip seemed almost impossible for me when the plane first touched down on indian soil. I mean, the fusion of weird smells already irks me. Furthermore, we were all not used to that smell.

Living conditions in the slums were really bad. The trip to the orphanage left us great memories, and although we made new friends, this friendship didn't last long as we had to leave afterall. Although we're always complaining about the smell of indians in singapore, i started to grow more comfortable with it in india. And the period while we were there, i didn't take into any consideration of differences between us. Whether they are black or white. Everything just came so naturally.

Food-wise, i can say their food tastes nice. Not to say the food we had for the first day, that kinda sucked. I hereby announce that i've gained much weight from the food over there.

Of course I didn't totally enjoy the whole trip. There were of course good and bad times. Shall not elaborate as i'll soon forget about it.

Shall I end now? This girl here is sick and desperate for some sleep.

I love India. Incredible india indeed.

Chennai

2011-10-17T07:46:00.001+08:00

Currently queuing up to check-in the luggages. I'm leaving for india in a short while, don't miss me people. Am hoping for this to be the best trip ever since the girls are going together.

Kaili is interfering my chain of thoughts!! Haha I forgot about what I wanted to blog next. So I guess that's all. See you all in 6 days.

Hey its India

2011-10-16T01:42:00.001+08:00

Just ended my daily dose of Youtube and lying on my bed trying to reorganise my thoughts. YouTube is where I can run away from reality, but however it is still temporary. Heart aching so badly as I drag myself away from the computer to my bed. As I know that this is the time when all thoughts surface all at once and the silence around me scares me.

It's less than 24hours to the India trip. More than a week of not seeing you. I'm flying off soon, but I won't leave in peace knowing that things are not solved between us.

Seeking refuge in sleep right now. I just hope the night won't last long.

Have yet to pack the luggage yet. Not excited about the trip. Well maybe not yet. There's just too many things holding me back and preventing me from looking forward to the trip.

4 more days

2011-10-13T22:00:00.002+08:00

10/11/11 School excursion - Resorts world sentosa & mbs

^ Say hi to Mr Koh, my poa teacher! Oh he showed his armani pencil case to me today haha haolian!

I've been looking so listless in photos nowadays. The eye bags won't seem to disappear, but neither am i doing anything to save it from worsening. Guess i'll have to live the rest of my life being a panda. :( ha ha ha ha ha lame ha ha ha.

Gotten back my results and... Got the shock of my life. No la er too confident about chemistry and flunked it in the end. I swear I found the paper kinda easy! Math p2 saved my life, so glad it did, so glad it did. Physics not gotten back yet, but if I were to be able to get 20/100 i'd be happy enough. The paper was a killer.

India trip is just 4 days away. A mixture of feelings right now. Please be a fun trip please please please.

On the run

2011-10-10T22:59:00.006+08:00

Turned on my laptop wanting to watch my korean drama but ended up stalking people on fb since i've not been up there for a long time. Time flies and here i am still sitted on my chair at 2306. Today has been a busy day for me... rushing all day long. Aborted the jogging plan this morning as rain fell, and i slept through the entire morning. lihan had to give me a call in order to wake me up, haha whoops. Headed to Queensway with the girls and finally got our school bags. Felt my heart ache as i paid for the new bag. Well considering it was cheaper than those retailing at other outlets and that there's a warranty for it, I had to admit it was a good deal. Just have to keep myself from getting another school bag. But hey, I was obedient for the past 1 year ok, i stuck to my tagger bag until the whole world started getting it too. So yep after the shopping i met ys ken bl kt at amk for frogleg porridge. First time ever and surprisingly it tasted great! Many people tried persuading me into trying in but the thought of killing a hopping toad just kills my appetite.

School field trip to mbs and resorts world tomorrow. Though it seems fun at first, but doesn't really sound very appealing to me right now. I've been in 3I for almost a year now, but I don't feel like I belong there. Although yes there's always fun and laughter, but compared with the lousiest class of 2009/2010 aka 2D, i feel that 2D was more of a bonded class. We can't compare ourselves with them neither academically nor the aesthetics, but we have a unique bond between us. The stupid jokes the contagious laughters. A class full of nonsense. Girls always screaming after recess, guys always up to no good. I kinda miss how things were back then. When yeongsoon can never plan a proper class outing, when the guys were always trying to distract the teachers from going back on topic, when everyone sings together during lesson time.

Maybe it's just me who feels this way. Guess i'm still not used to this change. 3I.... I'm not sure man. Or is it that everyone has yet to let their walls come down?

ok enough of a wordy post. still wondering whether people prefer long and wordy posts like such or visuals?

life after eoy

2011-10-10T00:37:00.004+08:00

First of all, some overdued pix.

02/10 Hans with bro and mom

07/10 Trena's crib with the girls

Awesome day spent with these girls. So glad to have these people in my life. Fun-filled day.

08/10 Teochew steamboat with jen chris aven and granny

09/10 lunch with b, ecp with daddy and aven, lepak with wilson

Just realised that the photos are a little too big. But oh well. Do bear with it.

Life has been pretty good to me so i assume that october is going to be smooth sailing. Whats more is that India is just a week away, and my schedule goes on and on.

That should be all for today. Need to get some sleep. Going for a run in the morning with Aven and his friend Hilary, and going out to buy some stuffs with the clique around noon, followed by dinner with ys and the 2 kt. Another busy day coming up so bye.

B's having trouble falling asleep... sigh so worried.

Baby says goodnight

2011-10-08T00:52:00.001+08:00

Hey all

2011-10-07T12:48:00.004+08:00

Finally finally finally, the long awaited break from all the long nights spent with my dearest.... books. The coming week is fully packed with dates and all and i. cant. wait. And oh i'm sleep deprived. I know i know, i look hideous with the dark circles but no worries i'm going to sleep my day my night away.

Heading out in awhile to meet the girls and hang out at Trena's place. Meanwhile trying to multi-task with uploading overdued pix up to fb and fixing my hair. I am so late. Gotta rush out in a short while so yep til then.

Let's not talk about how the papers went. We'll know when that day comes. Well uh ya. that day.

2011-09-27T06:27:00.001+08:00

So pissed at myself. EOY starts tomorrow and I've yet to finish studying on a single subject. Doesn't even feel like exams at all. But being me, the competitive me... I don't wanna lose out. I guess I'll have to push myself harder. But where's the drive...

My sunshine

2011-09-19T22:25:00.001+08:00

I miss how we flirt in our daily sms conversations. I miss how you find cute excuses for the next date. I miss having you by my side. I miss having you to listen to my woes my troubles. I miss having you to share my happiness with. I miss filling you in with how I had spent my day.

Basically I miss everything about us. I miss you so much. When is this gonna stop?

When will I be able to put everything aside and concentrate on my studies? When was the last time I genuinely had fun without any worries?

When will the heart stop aching, when will the tears stop flowing?

My weekends

2011-09-18T23:32:00.002+08:00

17/9 Family gathering at Saizeriya

Some italian restaurant that provides great service. Their food comes almost immediately!

LOOK AT HIS NAUGHTY PROUD FACE HAHA CHEEKY BOY

Aegon kept touching this "girl"'s face! haha, first love?

super boy <3

18/9 Study session with kt

Turned out not as productive as i had expected, but i kinda got most of my assignments done. (:

Life nowadays revolves only around school, school, and school. Pretty boring aye? I guess this is just what a student has to do. But this clearly ain't what I want. Not at all. Sharon wants fun.

Boy

2011-09-14T22:23:00.001+08:00

I miss you. So much.

Wake up

2011-09-12T23:57:00.001+08:00

Trying so hard to force my eyes open to finish up the last bit for my history sbq worksheet. Nah I failed, and am leaving the last bit til tmr morn.. Still deciding whether to wake up early in the wee hours to maybe get some other assignments done. Too much to cope with, too little time. I have to do well this time round. No I'm not gonna lose out. Call me competitive, but who would want to be ranked last?

Getting this blog post done just before the clock strikes twelve. I've decided. Sharon's gonna be the early bird tmr. Go girl, go.

Contented

2011-09-11T20:32:00.007+08:00

Hahaha abrupt ending of photo bomb with my apple pie.

I may not have a perfect family, but i do have a happy family that cares for one another. I may not be popular in school and have lots of friends, but i do know that there are people that care for me. I may not have a perfect relationship like those in korean dramas nor those in fairytales with arel, but at least he loves me and we are happy with one another's company. I may not have the smartest brains and pass my exams with flying colours, but at least i know where i stand and i know i do have certain skills that could aid me in the near future. I am contented.

Anyway I've got my hair cut today!!!! Snipped off about.. let's say 2inches? Finally gotten rid of the rebonded parts. Am feeling 5kg lighter hahaha fat hope. Haha brave girl, sharon. Keep it up.

Oh bearing in mind that I had all my money spent last month, I'm currently surviving with $3.77 in my bank. I'm open with it cos nobody would want to rob a $3.77 bank account. So that actually means a stop for anymore shopping. Gonna have to keep my hands to myself.

Hair cut?

2011-09-10T00:35:00.004+08:00

Am still deciding whether or not to get a hair cut on sunday. Should I.......? Or should I just trim it? I really need to make up my mind...

Today has been a rather productive day, i can say. Spent my afternoon completing the entire stack of math assignments. That's a yay. The nay is that I totally neglected the other assignments oops. But fret not, i'll get them done before the new term, hehe. I hope.

Finally done with uploading photos up to photobucket, blog and fb. An outing with Huiyi in a short while. Am. So. Stoked. So. Stoked. So. Stoked.

Should probably get some sleep right now

SO BAI x

overdued pictures

2011-09-09T20:27:00.007+08:00

26/8 Out with b

^ i love this one

27/8 Town with mom, Gina, Aven

30/8 Dearest Huiyi's birthday!

4/9 Comex IT Show 2011

8/9 Ann siang with kt and yeong

stupid jiao face

first time i'm having such a meal with friends!

idiot

Kiss work goodbye

2011-09-05T14:27:00.003+08:00

Finally done with work. GLAD. Had enough of indian customers. Sorry i'm not trying to cause some racial conflict here but i just can't take some of their attitude. Of cos there are also nice ones, but some of them really cause us so much trouble. And mostly can't really understand english. And when we tried to talk nicely, all they do is give the disgusted look and then shout to get their message across to us. Eh hello, I'm just right infront of you, dear.

Been a hectic weekend, and I can't ask for anything else other than sleep. EOY exams are around the corner and i've yet to do anything about it. Always procrastinating and ended up having to burn midnight oil... All. The. Time. Feeling guilt as I'm typing this cos.... i'm heading out in a few hour's time with bro and his friends. Opps. But I gotta help him shop for some new clothes. He said he'll be giving me a budget of 50 bucks for me to spend too. What a sweetie.

Headed to school this morning for some ICT shit. Didn't have enough sleep so I guess I'll just have to turn in earlier tonight. Which would most likely be impossible cox... idk.

Just realised that I seldom enter my dad's room. I actually avoid it as much as possible. As much as I want to, I can't hold back my thoughts when in the presence of all his belongings that's left in the room, though it's currently bro's territory. All the misses, all the memories. Usually as I go by my day, I'd place him at the back of my mind. And when I think of him, I let go of the thought almost immediately. Its the same logic as not provoking a lion. It'd attack you once you do. Hence it's best to stay as far as possible.

Pa I hope you're doing well up there. I got back my results, though it might not be up to your expectations, I know you'd agree that my results have improved too. Just in case you can read this, I want to let you know that I miss you. So much.

I know if you're reading this you'd most prolly be like " 不要为了弄我开心才这样讲 hor!"And give that questioning look and smile afterwards.

Time is running out. Need to get ready for town so yep bye.

Family

2011-09-03T23:42:00.001+08:00

Just got off from work and here I am already falling asleep. Work isn't as tedious as I thought it would be, considering that it was a weekend and that all those kiasu people would chiong here to get the cheapest deals. Of cos it was good for me and my colleagues, but that leaves us worried about tomorrow's crowd.

Got a call during work and was rather surprised that it was a call from bro. Somehow I got a feeling that something's not right. And I was right. I was told that my cousin went missing. Tried to reach her by phone but her phone was off. Figured that it probably had something to do with chris or a member in the family.

Was right again.

I just don't understand why he has to disappoint her all the time. No it might not be entirely his fault but it's definitely not the first time he broke her heart. The last big quarrel they had is still vivid in my mind. Disappointment and sadness all written on her face. The tears the cries. But this time it's all different. I was told that she'd already reached home. So when I got home I tried to fish out something from her, hoping to make her feel better. Meh, got ignored instead. This coldness, so unfamiliar. It's like a total stranger. And I guess this cold war she plans on having with everyone would not end so soon.

Another something added on to my list of worries.

Workaholic

2011-09-03T00:54:00.001+08:00

Hai hai hai September. The long awaited September. This month would be fully packed, I guess. By study dates and exams. I really need to get myself to study and stop all my nonsensical stuffs. Shan't be complacent about my current results cos neither are they good enough to be proud of.

My start of September was rather smooth..? Except for a few hiccups like falling sick but that's alright. It's not out of the norm to hear that I'm sick. This body has a weak immune system. Nah it doesn't even have an immune system. Hahahahahahahahaha. Boo, lame.

Oh but anyway I've been busy with work. By work I mean work. I'm at the IT fair! Drop by Comex IT Fair 2011 from 1st Sep to 4th Sep! Let's see if you'll be able to spot me. I'll be at level 4 convention hall 401. I have a great lady boss that not only provides all meals but also cares about me once every while since I've been working with no voice ever since this show had started. Even some customers and colleagues teased about my 'sexy' voice. Ha. Ha. Ha. :(

Bai x

Blank

2011-08-31T07:11:00.001+08:00

I've been neglecting this little space here for quite a period of time. There's currently too many thoughts up there that's hard to put into words. Shall blog other day. Entering school now..

Goodbye.

Don't be afraid to feel alone

2011-08-22T22:59:00.001+08:00

There's no wrong with wanting to be alone. There's no wrong with choosing how i want to live my day. Whether I want a smile across my face or a gloomy face. It's my own choice. Im not afraid of showing my emotions when I need to. I don't go against myself just to please people around me. I live only once. Live being yourself, not a puppet.

Today is the 22nd. Happy 17th month, b. I love you <3

Treasure

2011-08-21T23:55:00.004+08:00

Life is starting to pick up and i'm so glad i've everything solved right now. To think I actually felt that I didn't have friends around me when I was at my worst. I still treasure every single one of you, i swear. I promise I won't say things like I don't have friends etc. How dumb of me to feel that way, yes? But I didn't felt like I was cared by anyone. And somehow, i really think that i'm losing out too much in terms of friendships. Is it because i've pushed too many people away or what? But trust me, i do treasure every single one of you.

Arms and thighs hurting lika bitch i swear. Every little movement is a struggle. No joke. My muscles were strained too much from yesterday's yoga session with huiyi.

Eyes deprived of rest from a whole day of staring at this screen.

Ciao.

p/s i am dreading school. so fucking much.

Look for someone better and you will be loved.

2011-08-18T21:47:00.003+08:00

I guess its all over. This is it. My whole world is crumbling down. Every. Single. Part. Of. Me.

I've never been a good girlf. Never have been a good friend. Never have been a good person. And I'll never be. I'm always waiting for miracles without attempting to do something about it. I've been like this all the while, and i've broken a hell lot of hearts. Tho relationships are the most important to me, I guess I just don't know how to handle them. One shatters after another. Please just leave me alone. I'm currently lost in my sea of thoughts.

A hell lot of mistakes to repent on.

Like what they say, your life is in your hands. Well mine is screwed up, by myself.

Better alone, better in time.

2011-08-17T23:03:00.002+08:00

I know it's wrong of me to have said things like nobody was ever here for me. Because even in tougher times, there were people who truly cared for me, who stood by me. And furthermore, it's me who pushed everyone away whenever I felt that I need some time alone.

I don't blame anyone for not caring. But its just that whenever I really need someone, no one seems to be available. And when I need some time alone, everyone crowds around.

It's tough for me. Hence I chose to be alone.

23:06

2011-08-16T23:12:00.001+08:00

I can't say I'm broken up inside. Because I don't feel a thing right now. In fact I don't even have a mood right now. My heart isn't aching but neither is it smiling. Just this small thing that's weighing down, but not heavy at all. I want to cry so badly but there are no tears. I would like to confide into someone but there isn't anyone that came to my mind. I guess I'm rly getting used to being alone. Too used to a relationship with myself. To those that can't take me, please leave me. Like always.

Who'd ever know that behind all these laughter and smiles lie tears and frowns.

2011-08-13

2011-08-14T20:45:00.004+08:00

Was a long and tiring day. Met b to get my camera and walked around tpy hub. Celebrated Aven's 17th at pizzahut and slept over at aunt's house that day. So glad bro liked my prez for him. (the checkered shirt he is wearing as well as the tshirt i'm holding)

Tomorrow's monday which means books books books. Ever since the exams were over, i've yet to touch my books and get down to some serious studying. Well that might be able to explain how i'm going to flunk the chemistry retest i had last friday. I guess i won't be able to win back some marks to help me pass the entire shit. Sciences are just-so-not-my-thaaaang.

This CA has been a total disappointment. Prolly because of the moodswings i've experienced while trying to cope between relations and studying. Too much to handle for me.

Sharon buck up buck up.

Gotta get some sleep so bye. Til then.

Relationships

2011-08-12T21:24:00.003+08:00

Happy happy happy birthday to my dearest brother, Aven. Don't think you'd even see this cos you don't read blogs. However I wish you a very happy 17th birthday, have a blast alright? I guess you're drinking with your friends right now. Don't go all mabok hor. Anyway we've been stuck in this cold war for way too long, don't you think? I know i've always been hot-headed and saying things without thinking first. Since young I've always been "bullying" you like hitting you, scolding you etc. But nevertheless you still forgive me everytime. Ever since dad was gone, we've got closer and closer each day. What happened to us right now? It seems like we've drifted far apart and we're worse than strangers. Tomorrow's your birthday celebration with our family. I hope you'd like the present i've gotten you. Now that you're so much skinnier, I'd be able to get you more stuffs in the future! Love you very very much, bro. I mean it. <3

Lately there's been so much on my mind. I've always placed relationships as the most important thing in my life. I cherish every single relationship i have with people. Whether i can do with or without them in my life, there's always this pinch that i feel whenever i feel that i'm about to lose them. All these strings i have attached to people are what that's pushing me on in life. Cos I know with them, i'm never alone. But what's tiring me right now is that whenever one relationship is mended, another falls. And when i piece it back again, another falls. This cycle has been repeating itself and tiring me out. I'm sick of expecting too much, tired of working things out.

Troubled 24/7, plus having flu. The world seems like it wants to get fucked.

A short break

2011-08-11T21:12:00.004+08:00

8/8 Town w the 2 girls after national day celebration. Was supposed to head home but there was a change of plans. Met bb for Planet Of The Apes at night. The movie was grrrrrrreat! (:

8/9 Shopped w Aegon and aunt and met godfather, aven and wilson for seafood buffet dinner. i'm certain that i didn't fill my share so i guess money was wasted on me :(

Anyway...... Aegon spammmmm!

Look at the naughty boy hehehe.

shop shop shoppy shop

2011-08-07T23:29:00.006+08:00

I'm back i'm back i'm back from malaysia! Grandpa is doing quite ok so yep another thing less to worry about. Spent my 2 days doing house chores and taking care of the kids. My fingers still smell of garlic zomg its lingering forever.

Anyway for all the online shopaholics......

Do show some support to my aunt at her blogshop! She just got it started not long ago but do expect new arrivals soon! She's only doing preorders so you might have to wait 2-3 weeks for your orders to arrive. The top i'm wearing on the pic above is from her site too, and everything is mega reasonable! My top was bought so much cheaper and i got it in about 2 weeks! Oh and you'd save postage fees cox you can just collect them from me. Guys can visit too since there are also menswear. (:

SO NOW CLICK CLICK CLICK!!!!! > www.whatzinstore.biz

Oki imma hit the sack nao, i'm soooooo tired!

Escape

2011-08-05T17:17:00.001+08:00

I'm off to Malaysia now. I rly hope you'd miss me. Bye and tc.

x

Time machine

2011-08-03T22:52:00.001+08:00

I find it so hard to express my feelings. I find it so difficult to bottle everything up. Only through twitter and my private blog. Because on twitter, there's bound to be people who feels the same way as you. While in private blog, nobody judges you.

My heart tears a little more whenever I think of what's happening between us. I feel so lousy, so inferior, so insecure. I sink a little more when I get the same replies from you. How I hope it was just a lie. How I hope it was all just a dream.
Build me a time machine. I'll go all back to march 2010.

Midnight

2011-08-03T00:20:00.001+08:00

Have you ever had this feeling, so strong. You feel like your inner organs are crumbling down. Like something's tearing you up inside. This numb feeling that comes back over and over again. You start tearing and the tears won't stop flowing. You lie down in bed hoping to drift away from reality. But the bad thoughts replay through your head and everything repeats. You feel like such loser. You think about what you should've done to make things turn out in a better way. And then you blame yourself.

This is how I'm currently feeling right now. A mixture of feelings. I don't know which one to feel right now. But the sinking feeling just keeps repeating. Over, and over and over again..

2011-07-30T23:37:00.002+08:00

28/7 Arel's birthday

Enjoyed an evening of steamboat and entertainment with b and his friends, together with huiyi. By entertainment i mean their conversations. Its rly those LOL kind.

Went home with permanent marker dots on my face and left arm.

29/7

School and pretty much nothing else other than sleeping sleeping and sleeping.

30/9

amk park mac and library with jinli kaihin shengjie erman lyeyee kenny yeongsoon. Not a really productive day but at least i got some knowledge from those zai people. (y)

So I guess thats about it. Gonna head for bed pretty soon so bye and enjoy the remaining of your weekends! (:

Hey hi

2011-07-24T23:11:00.003+08:00

Its been a busy week for me, and I've been lacking so much sleep. So many problems so many things to worry about. This coming week is gonna be full of tests and I'm probably staying back in school everyday to revise.

Goodbye I need some sleep.

Photobucket is seriously getting on my nerves.

This weekend

2011-07-17T23:38:00.003+08:00

16/7

Hooked on heads with family and a stroll at macritchie reservoir afterwards. No kid, the sunset was magnificent i'm not exaggerating. Can't compare with Australia's but can see this in SG alr = good enough. Anyway Aegon's getting a lil' outta hand nowadays. The naughty boy can't sit still and screams/screeches at the littlest things. Lesson learnt: Need to mask ourselves before we head out with him in the future.

My eyes were so swollen that day that I didn't wanted to take much pictures. What a pity, the sky was so prettyyyyyy.

17/7

Study session at tpy library. Was supposed to solo the whole study session alone. Ah boy came along afterwards and we went to his house for movie with his friends, Maddy and Kin kit.

So glad things are fine between us right now. There's always sunshine after rain.

Lao niang dio kun liao, bai bai.

2011-07-15T23:07:00.004+08:00

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

School can be so happening

2011-07-14T18:00:00.004+08:00

School was fine. The assembly today was... epic. Imagine going up to stage and being jeered at. The whole of upper sec is talking about it on twitter ha ha ha wtf sibei gao xiao. Today is Thursday and I'm leaving for msia tomorrow night. Dreading it so much as I have to leave my comfort zone to somewhere I won't enjoy myself. But nevertheless, I'm supposed to be there to visit my grandpa who's sick so can't complain.

Alrighty dinz soon so imma bathe. Anyway anyway i'm on diet hehe wish me luck, really. This time for sure.

The pain the tears the everything

2011-07-13T21:56:00.003+08:00

Eyes so dry. Complexion like shit. The past few days haven't been good for me at all. Can't seem to understand math, can't seem to understand physics, can't seem to understand chemistry. Chinese olvl oral killed me and nothing can get any worse. So tired, physically and mentally. Feeling so bad that my self-esteem drains too. Everytime i look into the mirror now and then i just can't believe how ugly i look. Someone save me pls.

Everyone has their own problems to face. I don't want to bother anybody about my shit anymore. Feeling like a burden.

I no longer know what i want anymore.

p/s Pls help to click on the advertisement at the sidebar tyvm.

Incapable

2011-07-13T00:11:00.001+08:00

I find myself to useless and such a failure. I shatter inside whenever I see you feeling disappointed because of how I refuse to change. I'm trying I rly am, I try to look at things and consider your feelings but things just turn out differently,. When I should be sensitive, I am not. When you're sad I can't help at all. I know what you want to feel is to feel loved. You want to be cared. I can't seem to do those things at all. I have no idea why and I hate that so much.

I hate myself so much.

Lazy Sunday

2011-07-10T22:02:00.003+08:00

So I spent a perfect Sunday staying at home, using the lappy, and watching the blockbuster movie on channel 5 earlier on. I had to catch it cos it was Harry Potter! I really can't believe the entire HP is gonna end in 4 days. I mean, HP was my childhood man. I remember getting all excited when a new HP movie is gonna come out and mommy would bring Aven and I to the cinemas to catch it. My mom is a movie-holic. She can die without watching a movie -_- Yeap so cut short la, I'm sad that HP is ending. :( But anyway the one showing on channel 5 was The Order Of The Phoenix. Have to say it was good.

Can't stand it when my photos are so small LOLz. Photobucket's being a bitch i swear i swear i swear.

ciaoz muax

What's going on in my mind...

2011-07-10T16:50:00.001+08:00

Stuck in my head